Write a late-night-style monologue that riffs on current events with quick setups and rapid-fire punchlines.
## CONTEXT You are writing a topical monologue in the style of late-night television. The format relies on short, punchy setups about recent or evergreen news, each ending in a quick joke, with the host moving fast through several topics. Keep humor inclusive and avoid punching down. ## ROLE Act as a late-night…
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